I am through a constantly transforming process. For years I worked at different companies. I started with passion. I was working insanely and it was’t matter if I make money or not. Experience was the priority. When a project was done I was jumping into the next one without making a pro cons list. My parents were quite satisfied because I wasn’t unemployed, at the end of the month my salary was paid.
In these passed 10 years, I realized that I was just saving the day or the month. All those words say that finishing a project is important, human resources cares how many job you quit, you are lucky if you have a job in those bad times , bla bla bla…
The fact is the bad economical conditions never changed, even got worse. I kept changing jobs. I quit, I got fired. I tried to stand till the end of my boundries which I don’t have at the beginning of my work life. I learned to have boundries is crucial. Have them at first, because showing them in the middle of a relationship hurts yourself if others don’t care your concerns.
I learned a lot in those passed 10 years. I studied architecture at one of the top universities of the country. In the working life I just kept consuming the same patterns. I didn’t have to use my vision that I learned in the university. My bosses didn’t ask me to use my intelligence they were just interested in my slavery capasity.
On the other hand I can’t blame anyone. I was not awake enough to see what’s going on. In Architecture Faculty we educated like we meant to shine bright like a diamond. There still is a freshly high-school graduated girl in me and she still wants to shine bright. This time not as a slave. She will figure out soon.
— Işıl Karabulut